Last night, at our final Step Study meeting, we felt the power of taking God’s Word and 1) Praying it and 2) reading it out loud with conviction and in the present tense (I call them God affirmations). Let me give you an example:
Isaiah 41:10 (New Living Translation)
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you.I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
“Father God, help me not to be afraid and to remember that You are always with me. Help
me to not be discouraged – You are my God! Please strengthen me and HELP ME! Uphold
me with your victorious right hand!
“I am NOT afraid for God is with me. I am not discouraged because He is my God. He is
strengthening me and helping me. He is holding me up with his victorious hand.”
Isaiah 41:10 (The Message)
Don't panic. I'm with you. There's no need to fear for I'm your God.I'll give you strength. I'll help you. I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.
“Oh God – help me not to panic! Help me to remember that You are always with me and I
have no reason to be afraid! Give me strength! Help me! Hold me steady – keep me firmly
in Your grip!”
“I no longer panic when faced with overwhelming circumstances because God is with me. I
am not afraid because He is my God. I have the strength and help I need and it is from
God. He is holding me steady. He has a firm grip on me!”
Isaiah 41:10 (Amplified)
Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice.
Now on this one – let’s try something a little different. I want you to see the difference in these two affirmations. Which one has the most “power”? Which one creates more power when said out loud?
“I will not fear for God is with me. I will not look around me at all the trouble and circumstances and be terrified or dismayed – He is my God. He will strengthen and harden me to difficulties, yes, He WILL help me! I will uphold and retain me with His victorious right hand of rightness and justice.”
“I am not afraid - for God is with me. I look around me – I see all the trouble and circumstances surrounding me and yet I am not terrified or dismayed – He is my God. I am strengthened and hardened (tough!) to difficulties, yes, He is helping me right now! I am upheld and retained by His victorious right hand of rightness and justice.”
NOW … for the added blessing …
This morning, as I ejected the CD out of the radio in the car, there was a song playing on KCBI that I had never heard. The first lyrics I heard being sung were “I refuse to be afraid.” (Yes, I have chill bumps even now just remembering it!)
Here are the lyrics. You can actually hear a sound byte of the chorus by going to the website below. (You have to have Real Player – a free program (there is a link on the website) to play the song.
I Refuse To Be AfraidPsalms 91:5-7, Revelation 14:6-7 (Written by Denise Davis & Marty Funderburk)
The peace I took for granted crumbled suddenly
The world forever changed before my eyes
Somewhere in the rubble of all that used to be
My shattered trust and innocence now lie
But the fear that found me and knocked me to my knees
Only caused me to draw closer to the Christ who lives in me
So let the winds of terror blow
Let them rage against my soul
‘Cause I refuse to be afraid
I refuse to be afraid
I will stand and I will fight
In the power of God’s might
‘Cause I refuse to be afraid
For the God of all creation
Is my Father and my friend
He’s my shelter and protector
He has promised to defend
And because of who He is
I am brave
And I refuse to be afraid
I refuse to be afraid
© 2003 Life Goes On Music (SESAC) Winding Way Music/ASCAP (a division of Daywind Music Publishing) All Rights Reserved. Used By Permission. Programming: Cliff Downs Electric Guitar: Tom Hemby Piano: Cheryl Rogers Drums: John Hammond String Programming: Scott Brasher Background Vocals: Maurice Carter & Shelley Nirider
http://www.apsalmrecords.com/music.html
I am going to have to find a new adjective to describe God – because amazing has just become sorely inadequate!
“Praise You, God, for Your constant watch over us and for communicating with us so loudly and clearly! We love you!”
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
In my opinion ...
I want to share with you the email that I sent to Fox News today ...
Your website is my primary source for news. In general, I find your new reporting the most fair and balanced in the market.
However, on more than one occasion I have been bothered by the "suggestive" photos that are posted on your website in the name of advertisement and entertainment.
But today you have reached the limit! The photos of Britney Spears in her UNDERWEAR on the HOME PAGE of your website are borderline pornographic and the story accompanying the pictures only helps to spread the "lie" that a woman's body has to be perfect in order to be considering appealing, pretty or even beautiful in our American society.
There are epidemic numbers of men (and women) in this United States who are addicted to porn. It is almost impossible to avoid pornographic materials these days - whether it is on cable TV or magazine covers in the corner store.
Photos such as the ones posted on the Home page of foxnews.com today can "trigger" impulses in men and women that are trying to conquer their addictions. It's not even safe to check the NEWS online now without being subjected to women in their underwear.
I am not ultra-conservative, but I am sensitive to what we are subjecting our children to - do you not think that teenagers and other young people read your Home page?
Not only are the pictures obscene - the headlines and story along with the pictures only perpetuate the image that Hollywood is sending our daughters and nieces about their bodies needing to be perfect. Do you know how many THOUSANDS of women would LOVE to have a body like Britney's? Do you know how many women are out there right now starving themselves because their figure is similar to Britney's - and now they read that she is out of shape and even "fat"!?
This is utterly ridiculous!
Do we really want to be sending this message to the people who are struggling with anorexia and bulimia? Do you have any idea how I, as an "overweight" female", feel after reading articles like this? It's already impossible to meet up to the expectations of the "Hollywood image" for beauty - and now I have to read about it on the Home Page of my favorite and most reliable news source?
What are you thinking?
Your website is my primary source for news. In general, I find your new reporting the most fair and balanced in the market.
However, on more than one occasion I have been bothered by the "suggestive" photos that are posted on your website in the name of advertisement and entertainment.
But today you have reached the limit! The photos of Britney Spears in her UNDERWEAR on the HOME PAGE of your website are borderline pornographic and the story accompanying the pictures only helps to spread the "lie" that a woman's body has to be perfect in order to be considering appealing, pretty or even beautiful in our American society.
There are epidemic numbers of men (and women) in this United States who are addicted to porn. It is almost impossible to avoid pornographic materials these days - whether it is on cable TV or magazine covers in the corner store.
Photos such as the ones posted on the Home page of foxnews.com today can "trigger" impulses in men and women that are trying to conquer their addictions. It's not even safe to check the NEWS online now without being subjected to women in their underwear.
I am not ultra-conservative, but I am sensitive to what we are subjecting our children to - do you not think that teenagers and other young people read your Home page?
Not only are the pictures obscene - the headlines and story along with the pictures only perpetuate the image that Hollywood is sending our daughters and nieces about their bodies needing to be perfect. Do you know how many THOUSANDS of women would LOVE to have a body like Britney's? Do you know how many women are out there right now starving themselves because their figure is similar to Britney's - and now they read that she is out of shape and even "fat"!?
This is utterly ridiculous!
Do we really want to be sending this message to the people who are struggling with anorexia and bulimia? Do you have any idea how I, as an "overweight" female", feel after reading articles like this? It's already impossible to meet up to the expectations of the "Hollywood image" for beauty - and now I have to read about it on the Home Page of my favorite and most reliable news source?
What are you thinking?
Thursday, September 6, 2007
On Crashing and Burning ...
The past few days have been rough for me physically and emotionally. I definitely feel like I have been under attack by the enemy because of a few things:
1. Giving my testimony last Tuesday - allowing God to use my story to help others.
2. Surrendering my food addiction and claiming victory on Thursday night. Also naming my addiction and getting my 60
day chip for sexual purity.
3. Upcoming "The Road Adventure" that I will be attending this weekend.
During my Quiet Time this morning, I finally had some "breakthroughs" - recognizing more patterns in my life and also how I deal with uncomfortable situations. I will share more about those later.
I clearly have learned that I need to "pace myself". My body needs "down time". I look back at my calendar and see that from the 22nd straight through to the 1st (11 days) I had something going on every day and night, non-stop. (Including getting my house ready to put on the market, packing, moving stuff to storage, showing my business plan to new people and finding an apartment.) Now, for some of you that might not seem like a big deal … but for me, it brings on exhaustion. I need some "down time" to refill my emotional "fuel tank." When I do not take this time - when I cram my schedule so full that I do not have an evening at home to just "chill" … I hit rock bottom. Which is what I started doing Saturday afternoon. I kept telling my friend, "I am just so sleepy. All I want to do is sleep."
Saturday afternoon I began to "crash and burn". During my reading last night, I read something that totally identified my situation. When an airplane crashes (esp. in the US) a team is immediately dispatched to figure out WHY the plane crashed. They don't just shrug their shoulders and say, "Gee, we hope it doesn't happen again." In the book, the author compares our failures and mistakes to an airplane crash. It's up to us to figure out WHY we "crashed." For me, I needed to figure out why I keep crashing and burning every few weeks. (Ending up exhausted, emotionally drained and physically sick).
A couple of weeks ago, I read something that really hit home with me - the author said that we often think that the "good" in our life will balance out the "bad". We somehow think that if we have a really "bad" day - then have a really "good" day - that our emotions and physical well-being will be just fine. But he explains that a "good" day or "good" experience is just as emotionally draining as a bad one. We have to take time to "refuel" our emotional tank. I remembering asking myself, "How do I refill my emotional fuel tank?" For some people it might be reading a good book or taking a walk. For the author, it was to go to the movies in the middle of the day - when no one else is there - and just "get out of his mind" for a couple of hours. I even commented to my friend that I wasn't sure WHAT I needed to do to refill my emotional tank.
Well, the past few days proved that I need to LEARN how to refill my emotional tank! I allowed my tank to go past "empty" and ended up crashing and burning.
Now granted, I did not ALLOW myself to sink into depression during this time of "rest". I continued to read God's Word, listening to CD's and continued to read uplifting and motivating books. My heart wasn't really in it - weird thing to admit, I know - but I did what I knew I needed to do to survive. I also threw out a life line to a couple of friends my sending an "SOS email" saying simply: " Pray for me. I am struggling physically and emotionally".
I cried out to God asking Him to "help me" and to help me figure out "what was WRONG!" I went to sleep at night thanking Him for the things He has done and given me - counting my blessings. (Even though I didn't "feel" like it). Asking Him to rescue me from this "funk" that I was in.
This morning in my Quiet Time, I started reading in Psalm 66. I said to God, "I am not going to stop reading until I find something that speaks to me."
I found that "something" in Psalm 69.
Psalm 69: 1-3 (The Message)
God, God, save me!
I'm in over my head, Quicksand under me, swamp water over me;
I'm going down for the third time. I'm hoarse from calling for help,
Bleary-eyed from searching the sky for God.
Psalm 69: 13-18 (New Living Translation)
But I keep praying to you, Lord,
hoping this time you will show me favor.
In your unfailing love, O God, answer my prayer with your sure salvation.
Rescue me from the mud; don’t let me sink any deeper!
Save me from those who hate me, and pull me from these deep waters.
Don’t let the floods overwhelm me, or the deep waters swallow me, or the pit of death devour me.
Answer my prayers, O Lord, for your unfailing love is wonderful.
Take care of me, for your mercy is so plentiful.
Don’t hide from your servant; answer me quickly, for I am in deep trouble!Come and redeem me; free me from my enemies.
I realize that my journey is far from over. I still have much to learn about who I am in Christ and why I do the things I do.
I have two major enemies: satan and my inner enemies (self-doubt, lack of worth, the need to please, etc. etc.) Together they make up "the enemy". "the enemy" clearly does not like that I have made significant progress in my recovery and that God is using my life to help others. Thus, the attack on my physical and emotional health. (You may notice that I decided not to capitalize the first letter of satan and "the enemy". I refuse to give them even that much power!)
I also have a part to play in hindering these attacks - I must learn to "rest and refuel" on a regular basis. Yes, I must also rely on God's strength to help me to press on - but I am not "super-woman". God has clearly revealed to me an area of my life that I need to guard and take care of … my emotional fuel tank. I pray that He will continue to reveal to me the innermost parts of my being that I have no clue are even there and that He will show me how He wants to keep me physically and emotionally fueled.
In the midst of this - there is a huge victory, Praise His Name! I was tempted time and time again by "food" these past few days. I wanted to eat when I wasn't hungry. I wanted to drive to Taco Bueno at least a hundred times - but I didn't. I talked to my accountability partner on Sunday about these horrible cravings that I was having ... which is something I usually don't do. I just try to "suck it up and go it alone". That way if I binge, no one will know, right?
She pointed out to me to things: 1) The opposite of gluttony is not starvation. 2) I need to keep healthy food in my house so that I will not be tempted to go out or order pizza in.
So Monday morning, I went to the grocery store and stocked up on some healthy food - and actually ATE IT instead of going to Taco Bueno!
There is more that God revealed to me this morning ... but I will save that for another blog.
Thank you for joining me in this journey ... I pray we are learning life's lessons together.
1. Giving my testimony last Tuesday - allowing God to use my story to help others.
2. Surrendering my food addiction and claiming victory on Thursday night. Also naming my addiction and getting my 60
day chip for sexual purity.
3. Upcoming "The Road Adventure" that I will be attending this weekend.
During my Quiet Time this morning, I finally had some "breakthroughs" - recognizing more patterns in my life and also how I deal with uncomfortable situations. I will share more about those later.
I clearly have learned that I need to "pace myself". My body needs "down time". I look back at my calendar and see that from the 22nd straight through to the 1st (11 days) I had something going on every day and night, non-stop. (Including getting my house ready to put on the market, packing, moving stuff to storage, showing my business plan to new people and finding an apartment.) Now, for some of you that might not seem like a big deal … but for me, it brings on exhaustion. I need some "down time" to refill my emotional "fuel tank." When I do not take this time - when I cram my schedule so full that I do not have an evening at home to just "chill" … I hit rock bottom. Which is what I started doing Saturday afternoon. I kept telling my friend, "I am just so sleepy. All I want to do is sleep."
Saturday afternoon I began to "crash and burn". During my reading last night, I read something that totally identified my situation. When an airplane crashes (esp. in the US) a team is immediately dispatched to figure out WHY the plane crashed. They don't just shrug their shoulders and say, "Gee, we hope it doesn't happen again." In the book, the author compares our failures and mistakes to an airplane crash. It's up to us to figure out WHY we "crashed." For me, I needed to figure out why I keep crashing and burning every few weeks. (Ending up exhausted, emotionally drained and physically sick).
A couple of weeks ago, I read something that really hit home with me - the author said that we often think that the "good" in our life will balance out the "bad". We somehow think that if we have a really "bad" day - then have a really "good" day - that our emotions and physical well-being will be just fine. But he explains that a "good" day or "good" experience is just as emotionally draining as a bad one. We have to take time to "refuel" our emotional tank. I remembering asking myself, "How do I refill my emotional fuel tank?" For some people it might be reading a good book or taking a walk. For the author, it was to go to the movies in the middle of the day - when no one else is there - and just "get out of his mind" for a couple of hours. I even commented to my friend that I wasn't sure WHAT I needed to do to refill my emotional tank.
Well, the past few days proved that I need to LEARN how to refill my emotional tank! I allowed my tank to go past "empty" and ended up crashing and burning.
Now granted, I did not ALLOW myself to sink into depression during this time of "rest". I continued to read God's Word, listening to CD's and continued to read uplifting and motivating books. My heart wasn't really in it - weird thing to admit, I know - but I did what I knew I needed to do to survive. I also threw out a life line to a couple of friends my sending an "SOS email" saying simply: " Pray for me. I am struggling physically and emotionally".
I cried out to God asking Him to "help me" and to help me figure out "what was WRONG!" I went to sleep at night thanking Him for the things He has done and given me - counting my blessings. (Even though I didn't "feel" like it). Asking Him to rescue me from this "funk" that I was in.
This morning in my Quiet Time, I started reading in Psalm 66. I said to God, "I am not going to stop reading until I find something that speaks to me."
I found that "something" in Psalm 69.
Psalm 69: 1-3 (The Message)
God, God, save me!
I'm in over my head, Quicksand under me, swamp water over me;
I'm going down for the third time. I'm hoarse from calling for help,
Bleary-eyed from searching the sky for God.
Psalm 69: 13-18 (New Living Translation)
But I keep praying to you, Lord,
hoping this time you will show me favor.
In your unfailing love, O God, answer my prayer with your sure salvation.
Rescue me from the mud; don’t let me sink any deeper!
Save me from those who hate me, and pull me from these deep waters.
Don’t let the floods overwhelm me, or the deep waters swallow me, or the pit of death devour me.
Answer my prayers, O Lord, for your unfailing love is wonderful.
Take care of me, for your mercy is so plentiful.
Don’t hide from your servant; answer me quickly, for I am in deep trouble!Come and redeem me; free me from my enemies.
I realize that my journey is far from over. I still have much to learn about who I am in Christ and why I do the things I do.
I have two major enemies: satan and my inner enemies (self-doubt, lack of worth, the need to please, etc. etc.) Together they make up "the enemy". "the enemy" clearly does not like that I have made significant progress in my recovery and that God is using my life to help others. Thus, the attack on my physical and emotional health. (You may notice that I decided not to capitalize the first letter of satan and "the enemy". I refuse to give them even that much power!)
I also have a part to play in hindering these attacks - I must learn to "rest and refuel" on a regular basis. Yes, I must also rely on God's strength to help me to press on - but I am not "super-woman". God has clearly revealed to me an area of my life that I need to guard and take care of … my emotional fuel tank. I pray that He will continue to reveal to me the innermost parts of my being that I have no clue are even there and that He will show me how He wants to keep me physically and emotionally fueled.
In the midst of this - there is a huge victory, Praise His Name! I was tempted time and time again by "food" these past few days. I wanted to eat when I wasn't hungry. I wanted to drive to Taco Bueno at least a hundred times - but I didn't. I talked to my accountability partner on Sunday about these horrible cravings that I was having ... which is something I usually don't do. I just try to "suck it up and go it alone". That way if I binge, no one will know, right?
She pointed out to me to things: 1) The opposite of gluttony is not starvation. 2) I need to keep healthy food in my house so that I will not be tempted to go out or order pizza in.
So Monday morning, I went to the grocery store and stocked up on some healthy food - and actually ATE IT instead of going to Taco Bueno!
There is more that God revealed to me this morning ... but I will save that for another blog.
Thank you for joining me in this journey ... I pray we are learning life's lessons together.
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